Thursday, June 27, 2013


This past few weeks there is an unusual feeling had been triggered inside me. a feeling I knew existed long before but I never really fully understand it holistically.The feeling of nothingness. The feeling that you have been heaved back to the very first step of your existence. and you have no idea to which direction you shall move to.

Questions started to pour in from all directions. Different kind of questions.I felt lost. and I don't want to be.

As I lay my fingers on top of my laptop's keyboards, trying to hit every selected alphabetical symbol one by one in order to create sentence that can make sense of what I am experiencing now, I find it harder to continue. How is it to possible to answer all these questions when all you've got is fragments. Fragments of your basic 'self''?

I am nearing failure to channel all this scattering feeling into one believable context. and yet I know I will not fail.

How am I suppose to explain the war that is happening inside me?the war between the self and all the questions accompany it.

the only thing I am sure is that all is left now is my 'self'' and Allah. and I am now must search the true path towards HIM. as I should be doing all along.

In Search of 5 existential reasonings & way to live life.

In the name of Allah S.W.T..... I shall embark on the journey

1) To find God and Islam.
2) To find self & the path leading to it.
3) To build the path and not destroy it. To justify material engagement.
4) To lead better lifestyle & be healthier.
5) To find the long lost Jiwa.