Wednesday, August 06, 2008

nothing out of the ordinary

"It will work if you try. Will you wait for me?"

found this quote in


the robe, the convo and the ugly

now why don't we all go to joe's blog and see the new IIUM's robe and its mortar hat.

I was so dissapointed with this new dress code thingy when I were first told that we are going to get a new design of robe last month. the colour now is not green anymore, we will not wear the songkok and the rehearsal is off. BOOOOO!!!!!

the best thing about IIUM convo is that it is different from other universities or colleges convo. the culture is different and so its line of programmes. before this the wearing of songkok is considered as the most distinguish feature of IIUM's convocation and its graduates. we all were really proud of it and can't wait to wear one. I even ordered and tailored made my suit for the convocation. and suddenly everything changed. from the green robe to blue which I think a dissapointment to everyone to the femoval of songkok!!!Songkok!!!why the hell did yo remove the songkok for and change it to that ugly looking mortar hat? dahla name mortar?????

now we all will look like other graduates from other universities... and probably look uglier and less glamorous than them. cewhh..I dispise you..

since i am still feel kindda down now i decided not to write about all the beautiful things about my feeling about the up coming convo just yet. I want to treasure this moment of dissapointment and hatred still before I move on to that.


A lot of things happen in the past few weeks. among others I just received this one shocking news about my past which I think so hard for me to believe but nonetheless happened to sucks i tell you.

you see, it was during this night when emi and I were discussing about the life we went through and all the scandals and all the shitty things that had happen to us during university's time and he after all these years finally able to pour off all this one particular thing that has been really bothered him since our days of matriculation...well, i certainly not going to tell about it simply because it involves people.I mean everybody!

the feeling that i feel right now can be simplified like this...

pernah tak tengok drama melayu pasal this one boy yang hidup die seronok sangat. i mean he got everything in his life and though many shitty things jadik kat die tapi die tetap seronok sebab atleast die happy. and suddenly bile die dah umur 24 tahun tetibe his best friend bagitau yang almost everything pasal mase lepas die sebernya know macam tetibe tahu yang sebenarnya die anak angkat ke.macam tu la.

what i learned from emi is actually something like that tapi bukan family la.mane ader aku anak angkat.

sakit ngan dissapointed gak sebenarnye sb semua yg cantik melibatkan mase lepas aku sebenarnye ade rahsia yang sangat la besar tapi kawan takleh bagitau sebab takut melibatkan friendship tu sendiri. I mean they knew by telling me I will definitely choose the other side so dieorgpun senyap and taknak jeopardize the relationship. kire sangat mulia la bende tu and I believe sume member2 yang decide to keep their mouth shut memang mulia.bak kate emi 'tengok betape baiknye kawan2 kau'. hahaha..thanx guys...(gounggzzzs)

tapi atleast aku still susah nak percaya la mende tu jadik sebab of all the things yang jadik aku rase that was the last thing yang aku bole pikir terjadi kat aku. I mean it started from matric tuhh!!! shit. aku rase bile dah tau ni macam sume puzzle dah melekat and dari sudut cerite tu aku finally dapat faham kenape certain things jadik kat sekeliling aku. macam cerita the da vinci code.huuuuu....

eventhough cerite tu bukan pasal aku tapi atleast aku bolela kate aku terlibat secara langsung and sebab tu aku rase sangat aku sangat2 bertanggungjawab dalam sume tu.

aku sumpah aku tak pernah tau sume tu tapi aku mintak maaf2 sangatla kat sume org yang terlibat.halalkan sume yek and kalo tak halalkan please bgtau aku so aku bole atleast gantikan balik.

aku harap sume mende yang lepas tu atleast tak fake sb aku betul2 treasure all those things. aku tak kan ubahla pandangan aku tapi macamane pon die mencacatkan gakla ape aku percaya sebelumni.pheww..

Friday, August 01, 2008

azam yang pasti

teaching has been a revelation for me:)

I guess if we do something with good or noble intention, the rewards are priceless. though teaching is not my first option when it comes to career building, I took this job because somehow i believe it is my destiny to do so. I guess I am now fulfilling the dream of Abah too and for that I am so freaking proud of it.

as I write this piece, I am starting to fall in love with teaching and my students. though I think I am too egoistic a person to admit such a thing, tp what the heck kan??? Btw I never had the chance to thank those people yang bagi support kat aku mase sbelom mengajar thank you know who you are:)

I am not quite sure about this but somehow I feel that I am beginning to make peace with my inner self. everything is starting to form into one big giant of puzzle and I am actually smiling now...rase aman jugakla. nonetheless, I am still trying to perform my duty as a Muslim better. that includes all the semayang lima waktu, puasa,perangai,fikiran and all.haaaaiiiihhh..

I missed my family, friends back in Johor, UIA,my seniors, juniors, zaman2 Libur and most of all I........