in writing poetry

last few months me and a couple of friends had this one heated argument about the right to critic one's poetry and a poet's responsibility towards his/her poems. the discussion started when one of my good friend, dianne made a complain about people or rather her friends (which was us really) making wild assumptions about her poetry. to be fair yes i do believe that making wild assumptions( to the point of destroying his/her image ) about your friends are something that is unacceptable. a friend should have not done that in the first place. but I guess in our defense, we made that assumptions totally based on her poems and that it got nothing to do with her personal life what so ever or what we perceive towards her as friends. then, because we were talking about her poetry at first, the discussion moved on to questions such as whether or not readers can critic a poet's poem or rather make assumptions based on his/her writings.

we had two separate opinions on this matter where in one hand some of us believe that it is okay to critic but to them also, critics can kill creativity as it tends to shut a poet's imagination and creativity. on the other hand there was me who didnt believe that making comment or "assumption" towards one's piece of writing can kill his/her creativity or even freedom. being in this literature field, we were exposed with all sorts of criticism theories and we too were taught to give comments or critical analysis to certain poetry and poet's works of art. for me, critical analysis that people make one's poetry can not and will not kill his/her imagination or his/her force to write. criticism is crucial as it shows that people respond to your writings. being imaginative is a poet's job and thus no matter what the readers say about your poem, it is not in the control of the poet whatsoever.

another discussion that we had was about a poet's responsibility towards his/her writings. For me, this topic is pretty much a grey area where no one can be right or wrong in discussing the topic. the issue is that about whether or not a poet write about poems that he/she has no experience whatsoever in experiencing the situation that he/she writes about. In other words, if a poet writes a poem about someone's situation or story and made it as it is their own. My concern is that whether or not it can bring justice to the poem as the poet has no personal experience towards that particular true event. for me, yes the poet can try to relate or drown himself to that feeling but the fact remains that what the poet writes will never portray the reality of that particular situation.

I understand that a poet can write anything that he/she wishes to and that creativity should have no boundaries . but I always believe that if a poet writes something that is not belong to him, the poetry will have no soul in it. as a poet, I believe that we must have our own integrity in writing and that writing a poem that originates from other sources should be considered as lying or play acting. well, I may sound too harsh about this whole lying thing but forgive me as I can't find better vocabulary in stating my opinion towards this issue.By lying, perhaps I meant that the poet is both lying to his/her readers and himself. I know that some poets like it when readers say that they appreciate the poet's effort in writing the poem that they can relate to but don't you think that it is such a hypocritical action by the poet that in truth, he/she (the poet) has no right whatsoever in claiming that feeling as he/she did not experience the same experience as that particular reader. of course people will feel good when they can relate themselves to someone else (who doesn't), but to relate something that is not original (poem created out of someone else's story or experience) for me is not fair somehow. I don't know about today's trend in writing poetry but I always believe that the purpose of writing poetry is so we can share or give voice to our heart and let it flows gracefully out in the form of words.

Again, I'm not saying that those who write poems based on someone else's experiece is wrong. My intention is not to hurt anybody's feeling or ego. this is what I believe and the truth is I missed the original discussion/argument that I had with all of my friends months before. I felt alive at that time and so passionate at the same time. Not a surprise though as we have always been over passionate bunch of people since the day we met 6 years ago. if you read this, whoever you are, I hope you can share your view on this matter.

to Dianne, what ever it is babe, I will never judge you. sorry if you feel betrayed. I honestly think you are a very talented and great person. one of a kind! and yes, terima kasih kerana menjadikan saya seorang pakcik dalam 4 5 bulan akan datang. i love you and your soon to be born child too..I refuse to say love to said yea.

saya awak dan rokok mentol.

semalam saya pandang awak lagi.tapi dari jauhla sebab kereta banyak sangat pastu saya kenela parking tepi jalan.lama jugak saya pandang.adelah dalam 30 minit. sambil-sambil pandang saya hisap rokok sejuk jenama pall mall saya sebatang. saya tau awak tak suke saya hisap rokok sebab awak cakap rokok membahayakan kesihatan saya dengan awak skali tapi tak taulah wak.dalam masa-masa macam ni memang hisap rokok best.lagi-lagi sambil pandang awak.

masa saya pandang awak saya tengok cantik sangat awak.awak senyum tapi bukan kat saya kot sebab saya tak tau awak perasan saya ke tak.tapi macam hari-hari awak tetap cantik. ada satu petang tuh awak cantik macam...entahlah wak.tak tau nak cakap macamana cantiknya awak masa tuh. saya ingat petang tuh cuaca baik sangat.tengahari tu hujan lebat jadi bila dah petang sikit langit jadi terang. saya baru balik kerja pastu masa kat atas moto lepas jek keluar dari tempat kerja dari jauh saya nampak awak. terkedu saya wak.

awak tau tak apa perasan saya bila saya pandang awak dari jauh tu? saya rasa aman sangat.saya tau pelik manusia ni kalau duduk atas moto tepi jalan pastu senyum sorang-sorang sambil rokok tergantung dekat celah bibir tapi entahlah.saya tak pernah pikir pasal apa orang kata.mungkin sebab saya tak pernah perasan pun saya senyum sebab saya asyik sangat pandang awak. demi Allah wak, sumpah awak sangat-sangat cantik.

awak tau tak wak yang tiap-tiap hari saya doa sangat-sangat waktu kerja saya habis cepat sebab saya tak pernah sabar dapat jumpa awak.saya tau saya bukan boleh buat apa-apa pun cuma pandang dari jauh jek.tapi walaupun pandang jek saya tetap puas hati.berbunga-bunga jek hati saya wak.aman sangat-sangat.

Awak. dah lewat. saya kene tido awal sebab esok lagi 19 jam saye nak jumpe awak balik.aaaa...takla jumpe wak.saya pandang dari jauh jek. tapi kan wak esok kalau awak perasan saya dalam pukul 6.45 petang awak pandangla saya.saya lawat awak masa tuh.kalau awak pandang bawah nanti awak mesti nampak saya dengan rokok saya kat kaki langit.awak senyum ek sebab saya taknak senyum sorang-sorang:P

selamat malam wak.

hidup saya kosong?aman?gusar?sila tekan 1 on SERAMMMM.

lately ni saye tak rajin update belok.saya tatau kenape. nak cakap malas tak jugak tau encik dairi sebab saya banyak kerja.banyak sangat!saye tak tau nak tulis ape kot memandangkan saye bukan penulis yang terer.tulis puisi saye sukelaaa.hahahapp mengada2 betol gaye tulisan~

saye memang bukan dilahirkan untuk menulis.

2 3 minggu kebelakangan ini hati saye nakal amat Masyaallah. suke memperkotak katikkan hidup saya. sebab die saye selalu rase tak sedap hati.tak taulah kenape.saye dah habis kol orang ramai dan keluarga terchentak di kampung laman bertanyakan kesihatan mereka tapi semuanya agak normal.

sebenarnya nak cakap tak sedap hati tak jugak sebab ianya bukanlah satu perasaan negetip.ianya lebih kepade perasaan bercampur baur! saye rase perasan saye sekarang terlalu aman sampai rase kosong plak. takde rase ape2 jadi mungkin sb tu saye rase ganjil.peliknye.

tadi dengar lagu semalam yang hangat dari kumpulan rok Wings.ade line mel nyanyi macam ni

"semalam....itu semalam...hari ini aku hidup dalam dunia yang aman" bestnye lagu ni.peberet saye nih.

ayat diatas agak menyentuh kalbun. saye rase agak betul lah sebab sekarang rase aman jek.masalah tak berat atau saye mmg purak-purak buat tak berat. tapi entahlah hati tetap main api dengan saye.

encik hati...behave!!!!!heppppp.

question.

It was an interesting question. I didn't know whether it was a rhetorical question or not but I remember that I was a bit taken aback when she asked me that question.

"have you ever lost someone Azhari? someone you love?"


it was silent. everybody was watching.

I forced a smile. a bitter smile.

under my breath I said.

"I surely have ma'am"