I have grave difficulties right now selecting the right introduction to this post. Being a lecturer for almost 2 years now I always tell my students to start their essays with clear opening statement but now that I am in their shoes, I wonder how should I come out with my own clear opening statement to the story that I am about to tell when everything that is happening right now feels exactly like a dream?Nothing is clear as far as my sane mind can figure. I also tell students that a good essay should start with a very interesting or better, somehow dramatic phrase in order to attract reader's attention in reading their essays but what kind of drama will I unfold in this post as nothing and I really mean Nothing in this world can be dramatic enough to reflect the experience that I am excruciatingly experience right now?
well, the word 'grave' in my first sentence seems so insignificant before this. Repeatedly I have again and again used the word irresponsibly to emphasize the difficulty that I had experienced previously throughout my 25 years of life. Never I cared so much until recently when my mother became sick and diagnosed with Pankreas something-something and had to be hospitalized for further observations. The word grave...or even sick suddenly become a closely guarded taboo in my life.period.
Yes...at this moment my mother is still in hospital fighting bravely against her illnesses. As much as I want to believe that she will soon become healthy again, I also have to accept the fact that she is still in ICU and is still using the alat bantuan pernafasan to help her breathe. though the doctors have kindly informed us that mother is making improvement, they also told us that we should not put our hopes too high as the penyakit is very well known with its 'mood swing' behavior. We understand that fact fully but we also understand that we have Allah by our side and that we should never stop asking for His help. so since 6 days ago, we never stop praying.
There are so many things I want to write here. To scribe in details about everything that I am experiencing right now. Not so people can know or read or understand my story but so I can remind me in the future about this nightmarish chapter of my life. I want to remember and learn to appreciate more of my past,present and future. But how do I capture the things that are happening around me with the right words? the words that I know were constructed to never tell the truth.
" Ya Allah ya tuhan ku. Tuhan segala sekian alam. Tuhan yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang. Yang maha mengetahui lagi maha mendengar. Sesungguhnya aku bermohon dan berdoa kepada Mu ya Allah supaya Engkau kembalikanlah kesihatan ibu ku seperti sediakala. Kau berikanlah dia kekuatan untuk menentang segala penyakit mahupun kesakitan yang dihadapinya Ya Allah. Panjangkanlah usia ibu ku Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kami anak-anak nya masih lagi tidak mampu untuk berdiri tanpanya di sisi kami Ya Allah. Berikanlah rezeki kepadanya agar dapat dia lihat kebahagiaan dan kejayaan yang akan kami berikan kepada ibu kami Ya Allah".
Mama....adik rindu mama. Mama kuat yea?
well, the word 'grave' in my first sentence seems so insignificant before this. Repeatedly I have again and again used the word irresponsibly to emphasize the difficulty that I had experienced previously throughout my 25 years of life. Never I cared so much until recently when my mother became sick and diagnosed with Pankreas something-something and had to be hospitalized for further observations. The word grave...or even sick suddenly become a closely guarded taboo in my life.period.
Yes...at this moment my mother is still in hospital fighting bravely against her illnesses. As much as I want to believe that she will soon become healthy again, I also have to accept the fact that she is still in ICU and is still using the alat bantuan pernafasan to help her breathe. though the doctors have kindly informed us that mother is making improvement, they also told us that we should not put our hopes too high as the penyakit is very well known with its 'mood swing' behavior. We understand that fact fully but we also understand that we have Allah by our side and that we should never stop asking for His help. so since 6 days ago, we never stop praying.
There are so many things I want to write here. To scribe in details about everything that I am experiencing right now. Not so people can know or read or understand my story but so I can remind me in the future about this nightmarish chapter of my life. I want to remember and learn to appreciate more of my past,present and future. But how do I capture the things that are happening around me with the right words? the words that I know were constructed to never tell the truth.
" Ya Allah ya tuhan ku. Tuhan segala sekian alam. Tuhan yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang. Yang maha mengetahui lagi maha mendengar. Sesungguhnya aku bermohon dan berdoa kepada Mu ya Allah supaya Engkau kembalikanlah kesihatan ibu ku seperti sediakala. Kau berikanlah dia kekuatan untuk menentang segala penyakit mahupun kesakitan yang dihadapinya Ya Allah. Panjangkanlah usia ibu ku Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kami anak-anak nya masih lagi tidak mampu untuk berdiri tanpanya di sisi kami Ya Allah. Berikanlah rezeki kepadanya agar dapat dia lihat kebahagiaan dan kejayaan yang akan kami berikan kepada ibu kami Ya Allah".
Mama....adik rindu mama. Mama kuat yea?
1 comment:
kuat kuat ye.. moga semua kembali ok ^_^ insyaAllah.
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