pukul 3.13 pagi hari Selasa December tahun 2008. despite of having to work in 5 hours times, my eyes are still berdegil sedegil-degil umat untuk melelapkan matanya. abes sume care aku dah cube nak memakse untuk diri tidur tapi gagal dengan teruk jua.ni pun baru jek mandi sebab terase nak mandi.haduuuuu.....
now tengah duduk dalam gelap depan kat living room sambil mate terpacak menulis blog.
dulu mase ngaji kat UIA selalu sangat tidur lewat sebab seronok bergelak ketawa dengan Libur.kadang-kadang time macam ni kiteorg pergi kat sungai law dengan berbekalkan net tennis yang di rampok dan pergi tangkap ikan talapia kat situ dengan guna tangan jek.kiteorang panggil aktiviti tu 'semugur'. then bile dah cukup banyak and tangan pun dah calar balar kene sirip ikan, kiteorang bakar and cicah ngan sambal kicap. aku belajar makan ikan sungai pun dengan bebudak libur ni lah. kalo tak aku memang tak sentuh pun sebab kat umah mak aku tak masak ikan sungai.
kalau tak semugur time ni kiteorang mancing kat kolam maryam or kolam convest. ikan kat sini agak adventure la sebab ade patin,keli and of course lah talapia.singkong pegang rekod kat sini sebab berjaye naikkan pain 3 kilo.jeles btol.sume Libur jeles dengan rekod die.aku pegang rekod talapia kot and sarip pegang rekod labi-labi.
then kadang-kadang gak saje pg lepak kat convest hill sambil-sambil hisap rokok and buat unggun api.kire macam camp fire la konon-konon.kadang-kadang siap emi bawak gitar and nyanyi karoke ramai-ramai. kalau pak guard datang pun dieorang join skali.
kalo takde aktiviti langsung kiteorang lepak port bilik key and saje merepek lame2 sambil ketawa lame-lame.kadang-kadang takde idea or perbualan pun gelak jugak sebab pandang masing-masing. kalo time ade teater time macam ni sibukla tengah siapkan props teater. siap tidur seminggu kat main audi lagi sebab nak siapkan kerje. rindu laa time2 macam tuh.
agaknye kesan aku tak suke tido awal-awal time belajar dulu bawak ke malam ni jugaklah sebab aku sangat tak bole tidur skarang ni. kadang-kadang agak berlarutanla so sebab tuh aku tuduh insomnia nih.gile betol. aku takde blame zaman dulu la sebab kalo aku boleh trade ape2 pun kat dunia ni jangan haraplah aku nak tukar semua tu. giler btol kalo aku nak buat macam tuh.
kadang-kadang benda yang kite rase bermakne sangat turns out tak bermakne pun tapi benda yang kite ingat picisan jek time tuh turns out jadi perkara yang sangat bermakna dalam hidup kita dan perkara-perkara yang aku buat dengan Libur semua adalah perkara paling bermakna dalam hidup aku sekarang. Sumpah aku ingat sampai mati.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
new dawn
Now listening to Nitrus "kamu" and Bright Eyes "the first day of my life"
It's been a while since I last appreciate the life that I have and all the beautiful things surrounding me. It's crazy to think that I will ever complaint about all the problems and glitches...let me rephrase that again..some minor problems and glitches that I had as human had beberapa minggu kebelakangan ni:)
I am a kind of a person who always love my life and appreciate the things that happened to me be it good or bad. for me what constitutes me as a person is really all the lessons that I learned from all those bumpy jumpy life experience and be able to live with it or at least have a good laugh with it at the end of the day. I like to see things in its most positive side and keep on learning new stuffs everyday. Though some people see that as something too cliche or may distraught them from what ever connotations that they may have towards their life, I always think that somehow it is not too late for us to make this world a better place to live in. For me life is always kind to us and if life is like that, why should not we?
with that thinking inside me, I made a promise to myself that I will forever cherish my life. I don't mind being vocal or let my feelings out because I believe that I should let people know the real person I am behind this human flesh. I want people to know that I am a God given soul like everyone else. In my mind all I have is all beautiful and so does people around me. I AM A GOOD PERSON.
so when I crumbled last few weeks and thought about giving up(by this I don't mean taking a suicide), I think i was just being a jerk and too immature at that time. I failed to realize that life is like that and for a simple person like me, it is ok if I fall or crumble once in a while. I failed to realize that miserably and I admit I am still ashamed of that behavior of mine.
hari ini akan berganti dengan esok. hidup untuk hari ini takkan sama dengan hidup hari ni kan so why bother about the life yang kite akan ada esok dan hidup yang kita ada hari ni sebab esok tetap esok dan hari ni tetap hari ni. enjoy sudahlah!
I think I am getting better now. I wrote some new poetry a couple of days ago and still bole ketawa and paling penting ade semangat balik. I realize that sume yang jadi kat aku tu semua part of life and life is still a good friend of mine. great one actually:)
I am still learning...yes.
It's been a while since I last appreciate the life that I have and all the beautiful things surrounding me. It's crazy to think that I will ever complaint about all the problems and glitches...let me rephrase that again..some minor problems and glitches that I had as human had beberapa minggu kebelakangan ni:)
I am a kind of a person who always love my life and appreciate the things that happened to me be it good or bad. for me what constitutes me as a person is really all the lessons that I learned from all those bumpy jumpy life experience and be able to live with it or at least have a good laugh with it at the end of the day. I like to see things in its most positive side and keep on learning new stuffs everyday. Though some people see that as something too cliche or may distraught them from what ever connotations that they may have towards their life, I always think that somehow it is not too late for us to make this world a better place to live in. For me life is always kind to us and if life is like that, why should not we?
with that thinking inside me, I made a promise to myself that I will forever cherish my life. I don't mind being vocal or let my feelings out because I believe that I should let people know the real person I am behind this human flesh. I want people to know that I am a God given soul like everyone else. In my mind all I have is all beautiful and so does people around me. I AM A GOOD PERSON.
so when I crumbled last few weeks and thought about giving up(by this I don't mean taking a suicide), I think i was just being a jerk and too immature at that time. I failed to realize that life is like that and for a simple person like me, it is ok if I fall or crumble once in a while. I failed to realize that miserably and I admit I am still ashamed of that behavior of mine.
hari ini akan berganti dengan esok. hidup untuk hari ini takkan sama dengan hidup hari ni kan so why bother about the life yang kite akan ada esok dan hidup yang kita ada hari ni sebab esok tetap esok dan hari ni tetap hari ni. enjoy sudahlah!
I think I am getting better now. I wrote some new poetry a couple of days ago and still bole ketawa and paling penting ade semangat balik. I realize that sume yang jadi kat aku tu semua part of life and life is still a good friend of mine. great one actually:)
I am still learning...yes.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
my long awaited creepers shoes
hahaha.gambar ni takde kene mengena ngan kasut pun.ni time makan kat Paddington House of pancakes. saje nak letak.
the hat and the shoes....uuuuuu.
helll yeaaahhh...the spice girls are back....excluding the girl of course
Tore up the box as soon as Joe presented the box to me.
Creepers aka Demonia
You guys have no idea whatsoever about the hard breaking+ pain killing moment I have during the period of waiting for my shoes to arrive from Washinton D.C. this is what I have been waiting religously for 2 weeks and maybe months of craving it. my long awaited shoes!!!!joe said it looks like spice girls shoes and Nick accused me of having inferiority complex of my shortness but no matter waht you guys said, the only thing I have inside me now is......I finally got the shoeeeeeessss bebeeeeeehhh!
and yes maybe saye akan tinggi 2 inci lagi bile pakai kasut ni.hehehehehe.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bukit Antarabangsa
the true heroes
Aku sepatutnya balik johor mase kejadian landslide ni jadi. aku tumpang kete said balik johor same2 tapi pagi tuh said kejut cakap kene singgah kat Bukit Antarabangsa sb ade landslide. sebab aku takde pengalaman ni sume mase said cakap kene singgah sane sb nk buat ricci aku yang bole terfikir hanye image bangunan runtuh macam kat highland tower tu dulu.itupon image yang ade cume image yang aku curik dari berita tv mase dulu2 tu.aku sangat teruja sebenarnya ikut said sb aku sangat2 berminat nak buat humanitarian work ni.bagi aku best sb it means the whole world to me. aku mmg nak sangat buat mende2 yang aku tau besar maknenye dalam hidup and of them macam ni lah. tp since aku tau ade casualties aku mmg tanam dalam hati mase tu yg aku nak tolong seboleh mungkin and belajar apa2 yang patut untuk pengalaman.
mase sampai tempat kejadian mmg keadaan agak kelam kabut. ramai penduduk jalan berbatu sambil bawak barang keperluan dieorg pergi cariktempat selamat. rescue worker sume mmg bersusah payah cuba buat ape yang patut.
dua tiga hri ni bile aku tgk tv ngan bace blog ramai org gak kutuk2 rescue workers la agensi yg terlibatla sb tak cekap. ade yang tuduh dieorg keje makan jek tau.aku tak nafikanla mmg kat situ mmg dah macam syurga makanan tapi bagi aku secara personal, walaupun apepon yang dieorg buat, kite tak boleh nak nafikan yang most of them yang kat situ bertungkus lumus cuba perbaiki keadaan. semangat dieorg tu and the fact yang dieorg berkerja keras carik mangsa and but segala menda kita kenela respek. whether or not they were trying to gain political mileage or they were lzying around is for me not correct lah sb aku sendiri kat situ tgk abang-abang bomba, askar,polis,smart team kuar masuk cuba carik mangsa and selamatkan orang. even though ade flaws sane sini, sometimes it is better for us untuk tgk yang positif daripada pin-point negative things yang jadi.aku rase standardla kalo terlepas pandang sane sini sb keadaan mmg agak luar biasa kan tp kite kan cuma manusia and bukan hari2 landslide ade kat malaysia ni. tak salah kalau kite give our heroes tu sume a big clap,standing ovation and pat on their back for trying hard to save people. macam tu lah kite nak spread the love kan.by looking at the good things once in a while.
aku sangat bertuah sebab aku dapat join satu misi selamatkan dis one family utk kuar dari kawasan yang terputus hubungan. we were suppose to use helicopter tp batal plak sb ade guide bawak gune jalan darat. yang lagi aku bangga sebab aku dapat jadi wakil Mercy utk join group tuh. Mase tu aku jek yg available and since said kene stay and handle mende lain aku pon joinla. aku dapat lalu kat tempat kejadian and managed to capture some pics dari dekat. then redah sane sini and dapat jumpe keluarga tuh. anak die 2 orang special so extra care kene adelah. mase aku jumpe dieorg aku rase macam nak nangis sb both of them were so sweet and lovely.dalam keadaan macam tuh dieorg nampak sangat berani and composed. misi tu berjalan dengan lancar and we managed to help them keluar dari situ. bile kuar ahli keluarga dieorang datang and cakap terima kasih sambil salam tangan aku. kat situlah aku sangat sedar betapa bemakna nya sume tu. aku yang baru first time join pon rase sangat2 berbesar hati lagi pulak orang2 lain kan.
aku ade kat sane dari 11 pagi sampai 12 malam.malam tuh aku ngan geng2 MERCY+geng2 4x4+ nik and singkong yang datang petang tuh set operation center for Mercy before kiteorg balik.ikut kan ati nak sangat stay sampai esoknye tapi aku ngan said nak balik raya.hehe.
kiteorg balik umah jap lepak setengah jam then terus gerak balik johor. so bayangkanlah dengan 12 jam straight kat bukit antarabangsa then drive johor plak.aku tertidur dari kl ke air keroh then dari air keroh aku drive said plak tido. time aku drive mengantuk gile.nyaris2 tertidur sambil drive. mmg kerje gilelah.sampai umah aku pukul 5.30 then said tumpang tido sampai pukul 9 die gerak pontian.mase on de way kat high way siap terserempak ngan eksiden bas yg 10 org mati tuh.yang masuk tv tuh tapi kiteorg tak berentilah.lepas tuh jek macam2 aku buat nk bagi sedar.takut wooo...
pengalaman aku kat bukit antabangsa mmg sangat bermakne.kat situ lah aku tengok all the superheroes yang sebenar. regardless ape pon orang nak cakap pasal dieorg.that is their prerogative to say such things and nak tgk negative ape skalipon.bagi aku dieorang mmg the best and I really2 appreciate and respect them.
special thanx to MERCY for giving me the chance to help and make this world a better place.thnk you for giving me a huge meaningful experience and you guys are relly great thru out the tragedy. terima kasih kepada semua yang terlibat.
poetry
Poetry is one heck of a powerful instrument that we, as human have since the time of Adam and Eve. Aku as a person tak pernah tau bile aku start suke poetry ni. dalam blog aku a little less conversation jek aku rase maybe dah 4 tahun kot aku start menulis but as long as I could remember, aku dah menulis even mase aku kat sekolah rendah. that time I usually wrote my stuffs kat buku latihan sekolah or atas meja sekolah. so, kalo aku reminiscence balik zaman dulu2 aku rase buku latihan sekolah dulu ade lagi banyak poetry berbanding notes yg cikgu bagi and aku jugak seorang vandal yang sangat serious sb most of my school desk penuh ngan scribbling tulisan poetry aku bersama2 ngan cartoon bodo yang aku selalu buat.most of them gamba bunga and orang lidi.
Poetry bagi aku lagi dekat dengan jiwa aku sb dalam poetry aku bole let go of everything like, ape aku rase and ape yang aku kenal kat dalam diri aku. through poetry aku sangat bebas and through peotry jugak aku rase aku macam tunjuk diri aku yang sebenarnya. the honest fact about azharisirat.
dalam poetry takde istilah poem ko best or tak best.tak de istilah ko sangat berbakat sebab bakat tu bukan boleh diukurkan dan since we write poetry based on what we had in our mind so takbole la kite cakap ianya baik atau tak. semua poetry itu baik sebab apa saja yang kite kuarkan dari dalam hati tu adalah something yang baik and powerful.
aku pun agak bernasib baik gakla since some of my friends suke poetry gak.some of them are my favorites like kak fynn, dianne,sheena, tinie and some of them like ahmad emi eventhough jarang tulis poem tp bile die produce and post kan poem die aku rase mmg hebatlah.
poetry is sacred to me dan aku harap sangat aku bole menulis poetry ni sampai aku mati. atleast bile aku mati, sape2 yang teringat kat aku bole bace poetry aku. or harapnye kalo aku ade anak, anak cucu aku pon suke menulis gak sb for me the greatest achievement yang aku nak anak cucu aku ade is not based on dieorg punye duit ke harta but how well they can understand their life a person. aku nak dieorg paham diri sendiri and faham all the beauty that lies in this world.
Mase aku blaja agama kat sekolah dulu aku ingat ustazah aku cakap orang Quraisy anggap Quran sebagai satu form of poetry yang terulung. Aku ada gakla betulnye. dun get me wrong, aku mmg anggap al quran sebagai puisi terhebat sebab ianya datang dari Satu sumber yang maha ulung.ianya datang dari Kata2 si Dia dan tak ada kata2 yang lebih indah dari kata2NYA.
aku sebagai pencinta puisi hanya inginkan secebis inspirasi dari kata2 NYA semoga aku dapat menulis perkara2 yang indah tentang dunia, tentang DIA dan tentang diri aku.
Poetry bagi aku lagi dekat dengan jiwa aku sb dalam poetry aku bole let go of everything like, ape aku rase and ape yang aku kenal kat dalam diri aku. through poetry aku sangat bebas and through peotry jugak aku rase aku macam tunjuk diri aku yang sebenarnya. the honest fact about azharisirat.
dalam poetry takde istilah poem ko best or tak best.tak de istilah ko sangat berbakat sebab bakat tu bukan boleh diukurkan dan since we write poetry based on what we had in our mind so takbole la kite cakap ianya baik atau tak. semua poetry itu baik sebab apa saja yang kite kuarkan dari dalam hati tu adalah something yang baik and powerful.
aku pun agak bernasib baik gakla since some of my friends suke poetry gak.some of them are my favorites like kak fynn, dianne,sheena, tinie and some of them like ahmad emi eventhough jarang tulis poem tp bile die produce and post kan poem die aku rase mmg hebatlah.
poetry is sacred to me dan aku harap sangat aku bole menulis poetry ni sampai aku mati. atleast bile aku mati, sape2 yang teringat kat aku bole bace poetry aku. or harapnye kalo aku ade anak, anak cucu aku pon suke menulis gak sb for me the greatest achievement yang aku nak anak cucu aku ade is not based on dieorg punye duit ke harta but how well they can understand their life a person. aku nak dieorg paham diri sendiri and faham all the beauty that lies in this world.
Mase aku blaja agama kat sekolah dulu aku ingat ustazah aku cakap orang Quraisy anggap Quran sebagai satu form of poetry yang terulung. Aku ada gakla betulnye. dun get me wrong, aku mmg anggap al quran sebagai puisi terhebat sebab ianya datang dari Satu sumber yang maha ulung.ianya datang dari Kata2 si Dia dan tak ada kata2 yang lebih indah dari kata2NYA.
aku sebagai pencinta puisi hanya inginkan secebis inspirasi dari kata2 NYA semoga aku dapat menulis perkara2 yang indah tentang dunia, tentang DIA dan tentang diri aku.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Life as ep
sekarang hidup agak kosong jek rasa. tak taula aku yang silap atau memang aku masuk dalam satu tahap yang mana memang aku kene rasa dan masa tu adalah sekarang.hidup agak restless sekarang dan terasa sangat macam kitaran hidup tu berhenti macam tu jek.
kadang-kadang life yang ada sekarang ni sangat plain sampai ketawa ke senyum yang ada pun macam tak ikhlas jek. salah satu therapy terbaik aku cuma kerje jek. selamat aku suka kerja aku so bile pergi mengajar tu agak happy jugakla tp bile abes kerje terus rase kosong balik.
balik rumah best jek sb housemate sume lucu jek. kadang-kadang rajin jek masak same2 tapi itulah hati ni rase kosong jek. bile dah macam ni rokok pon laju gak berjalan kuar masuk ulu hati nih. ikut hati dulu memang menyampah tiap kali bakar rokok sejuk nih tapi dalam keadaan cam ni rasa membantu lah.kind of a theraphy jugakla tengok asap tu kuar berkepul-kepul.
aku agak mengakulah aku sunyi. rase mmg nak cari awek ke ape ke tapi cam haram jek. salah aku kot.ramai jek aku bole on tapi itulah memilih gile babi plak. bile dah rapat jek aku tetibe buat bodo biar mende camtu jek. kadang-kadang mengharap awek tu yang ngorat and takpon ngorat rajin2 then bile dapat kuar date skali dua terus malas dah. yang paling teruk ngorat2 then dapat nombor talipon terus buat bodo dah.macam tamat camtu jek. menyampah gak ngan diri tapi itulah yang aku buat.hahaha:(
ade gak beberapa kali aku rase give up jek. soal diri sendiri kenape aku tak happy sekarang ni. tanye kenape aku tak deserve jadi happy. kadang-kadang aku tanye aku ni jahat sangat ke?
bari-baru ni ramai membe aku kawin and bakal kawin.terus terang cakap aku rase pressure jek.aku bukanla nak kawen awal sangat pon.yeala..aku dah janji nak bagi family kat diri dulu a chance of better life then nak sambung study sume and in fact aku mmg takde niatpon nak kawen awal tp bile tgk membe kawen kaco gak jiwa tuh.tgk dieorg happy bagai kan so aku pon nakla rase macam tu gak.
aku paham sume tu datang gak nanti bile mase sampai tp aku ni cite sekarang?mende yg aku rase skarang.now???malas dah nak tunggu esok.
it's not me to behave like this seriously but then when this thing come along takkan nak tipu diri sendiri kan. aku selalu jek positif and do stuffs yang aku rase bagus utk aku.even if aku tau aku ade flaws aku selalu cherished those flaws sb aku tau those things yang buat aku ni seorang masnusia.so instead of bragging pasal strenghts aku suke ingat diri aku pasal flaws tu sume and then turn those things to something positive. tapi perasaan ni btol2 kacau segale mende yang aku percaya ade kat aku selama ni.it's like I cannot help from blaming my own flaws and all.dammit.
I can't remember at all bile aku last senyum and ketawa yang btol2 ikhlas and bermakna.i mean senyum yang boleh bawak sampai dua tiga hari. in fact aku dah start rase macam nak give up carik sume tuh. yang aku nak cume taknak hilang diri sendiri jek.so aku tak tau nak cakap camne but sekarang ni Tuhan jek tau macam mane hebat nye aku berperang dengan diri aku sekarang ni. macam nak kalah pon ade gak. bukan kalah cume nak kalah jek.
org lelaki ni supposedly will have mid life crisis when we turn to 40 tapi takut gak kalo aku mude2 dah dapat crisis nih. dahla aku selalu rase aku matang cepat.heeeee....takutnye.
I think this is the first time i really open things up about me.it's hard but at least I want to show that behind this wacky, nutty,insensitive and stupid insignificant boy lies a human being and I do have feelings like most people out there. I understand we all have our own problems in life and i do understand what im dealing with right now.
I just don't know how to deal with it.PERIOD.
kadang-kadang life yang ada sekarang ni sangat plain sampai ketawa ke senyum yang ada pun macam tak ikhlas jek. salah satu therapy terbaik aku cuma kerje jek. selamat aku suka kerja aku so bile pergi mengajar tu agak happy jugakla tp bile abes kerje terus rase kosong balik.
balik rumah best jek sb housemate sume lucu jek. kadang-kadang rajin jek masak same2 tapi itulah hati ni rase kosong jek. bile dah macam ni rokok pon laju gak berjalan kuar masuk ulu hati nih. ikut hati dulu memang menyampah tiap kali bakar rokok sejuk nih tapi dalam keadaan cam ni rasa membantu lah.kind of a theraphy jugakla tengok asap tu kuar berkepul-kepul.
aku agak mengakulah aku sunyi. rase mmg nak cari awek ke ape ke tapi cam haram jek. salah aku kot.ramai jek aku bole on tapi itulah memilih gile babi plak. bile dah rapat jek aku tetibe buat bodo biar mende camtu jek. kadang-kadang mengharap awek tu yang ngorat and takpon ngorat rajin2 then bile dapat kuar date skali dua terus malas dah. yang paling teruk ngorat2 then dapat nombor talipon terus buat bodo dah.macam tamat camtu jek. menyampah gak ngan diri tapi itulah yang aku buat.hahaha:(
ade gak beberapa kali aku rase give up jek. soal diri sendiri kenape aku tak happy sekarang ni. tanye kenape aku tak deserve jadi happy. kadang-kadang aku tanye aku ni jahat sangat ke?
bari-baru ni ramai membe aku kawin and bakal kawin.terus terang cakap aku rase pressure jek.aku bukanla nak kawen awal sangat pon.yeala..aku dah janji nak bagi family kat diri dulu a chance of better life then nak sambung study sume and in fact aku mmg takde niatpon nak kawen awal tp bile tgk membe kawen kaco gak jiwa tuh.tgk dieorg happy bagai kan so aku pon nakla rase macam tu gak.
aku paham sume tu datang gak nanti bile mase sampai tp aku ni cite sekarang?mende yg aku rase skarang.now???malas dah nak tunggu esok.
it's not me to behave like this seriously but then when this thing come along takkan nak tipu diri sendiri kan. aku selalu jek positif and do stuffs yang aku rase bagus utk aku.even if aku tau aku ade flaws aku selalu cherished those flaws sb aku tau those things yang buat aku ni seorang masnusia.so instead of bragging pasal strenghts aku suke ingat diri aku pasal flaws tu sume and then turn those things to something positive. tapi perasaan ni btol2 kacau segale mende yang aku percaya ade kat aku selama ni.it's like I cannot help from blaming my own flaws and all.dammit.
I can't remember at all bile aku last senyum and ketawa yang btol2 ikhlas and bermakna.i mean senyum yang boleh bawak sampai dua tiga hari. in fact aku dah start rase macam nak give up carik sume tuh. yang aku nak cume taknak hilang diri sendiri jek.so aku tak tau nak cakap camne but sekarang ni Tuhan jek tau macam mane hebat nye aku berperang dengan diri aku sekarang ni. macam nak kalah pon ade gak. bukan kalah cume nak kalah jek.
org lelaki ni supposedly will have mid life crisis when we turn to 40 tapi takut gak kalo aku mude2 dah dapat crisis nih. dahla aku selalu rase aku matang cepat.heeeee....takutnye.
I think this is the first time i really open things up about me.it's hard but at least I want to show that behind this wacky, nutty,insensitive and stupid insignificant boy lies a human being and I do have feelings like most people out there. I understand we all have our own problems in life and i do understand what im dealing with right now.
I just don't know how to deal with it.PERIOD.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Beautiful bait
Currently listening to Nada Surf "inside of love"
great song with great soulful lyrics...
"I want to know what it is like on the inside of love.standing at the gate, I see the beauty above.."
"I know the last page very well I can't read the first..so I just don't start and it's getting worse"
Special thanks to Singkong for introducing me this peace of great tune.
Listening to this song remind me of how ungrateful we are when it comes to Love. So people, please treasure your love well and don't ever take your love for granted.
To Said and Dianne...may your bond lasts forever.
great song with great soulful lyrics...
"I want to know what it is like on the inside of love.standing at the gate, I see the beauty above.."
"I know the last page very well I can't read the first..so I just don't start and it's getting worse"
Special thanks to Singkong for introducing me this peace of great tune.
Listening to this song remind me of how ungrateful we are when it comes to Love. So people, please treasure your love well and don't ever take your love for granted.
To Said and Dianne...may your bond lasts forever.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I am dying...slowly.
I wish the pain I have now inside my heart can turn into a physical pain instead because by God I don't have the strength to fight it anymore.
It's like having a very blunt object thrusting my heart in an awfully slow pace of movement and at the same time got my heart...yes, the same heart crushed without mercy.
for the first time in my life I am not happy...
it sucks..it's awfully suck.
It's like having a very blunt object thrusting my heart in an awfully slow pace of movement and at the same time got my heart...yes, the same heart crushed without mercy.
for the first time in my life I am not happy...
it sucks..it's awfully suck.
Monday, December 01, 2008
dear God...
I'm literally addicted to avenge savenfold's dear god now.keep playing the song for hundreds of times now.
I don't exactly know how to say this but lately my hormones are starting to kick in and I think they are planning for a bigger demonstration in this couple of days to come.
lately ni aku slalu rase aku bodoh sangat. aku start soal pasal diri sendiri and pasal beberapa decision yang aku dah buat. tiap kali perasaan tu datang mesti aku tanye "zarie, how far can you actually go before you even realize that it was a stupid thing for you to do?"
the thing is...aku tak berapa tau ape sebenanye yang aku dah buat? damn it!
aku bukan jenis orang yang nak mempersoalkan diri sendiri sb walau bodoh macamanapon mende yang aku buat aku tau tu sume part of growing up or at least part of knowing my own inner self so selalunye aku takla kesah sangat but since ni sume jadik tanpa aku tau sebab die, aku rase menyampah plak.
it's like aku ni macam dah salah amek jalan pon ade gak.
looking at people around me I do realize that they have their own problems but I wonder is there a slightest chance that they might have the same problem like me? cuz if they do aku nak gak tanye kenape ek?
maybe i'm just getting restless la about my life.
there is this one thing i did yang aku rase aku buat baru-baru ni. honest to GOd aku betol2 rase mmg bodoh tahap ikan cencaru punye tp aku pikir sb mende dah jadik nak buat camne kan?go on jekla with my life. tapi come to think about it again maybe gak mende tu yang buat aku kaco thus mengembangkan lagi masalah bodo aku skarang ni.haiiiiihhh.
P/s; ari tu aku berangan nak buat movie versi romeo n juliet kampung. tp nak kekalkan the whole storyline cume setting die jek kat kampung...or maybe between kampung or estet.
sape nak suh aku direct movie ek??? kak ain....do you know anybody yang willing????
cehhh...bodo lagi.
I don't exactly know how to say this but lately my hormones are starting to kick in and I think they are planning for a bigger demonstration in this couple of days to come.
lately ni aku slalu rase aku bodoh sangat. aku start soal pasal diri sendiri and pasal beberapa decision yang aku dah buat. tiap kali perasaan tu datang mesti aku tanye "zarie, how far can you actually go before you even realize that it was a stupid thing for you to do?"
the thing is...aku tak berapa tau ape sebenanye yang aku dah buat? damn it!
aku bukan jenis orang yang nak mempersoalkan diri sendiri sb walau bodoh macamanapon mende yang aku buat aku tau tu sume part of growing up or at least part of knowing my own inner self so selalunye aku takla kesah sangat but since ni sume jadik tanpa aku tau sebab die, aku rase menyampah plak.
it's like aku ni macam dah salah amek jalan pon ade gak.
looking at people around me I do realize that they have their own problems but I wonder is there a slightest chance that they might have the same problem like me? cuz if they do aku nak gak tanye kenape ek?
maybe i'm just getting restless la about my life.
there is this one thing i did yang aku rase aku buat baru-baru ni. honest to GOd aku betol2 rase mmg bodoh tahap ikan cencaru punye tp aku pikir sb mende dah jadik nak buat camne kan?go on jekla with my life. tapi come to think about it again maybe gak mende tu yang buat aku kaco thus mengembangkan lagi masalah bodo aku skarang ni.haiiiiihhh.
P/s; ari tu aku berangan nak buat movie versi romeo n juliet kampung. tp nak kekalkan the whole storyline cume setting die jek kat kampung...or maybe between kampung or estet.
sape nak suh aku direct movie ek??? kak ain....do you know anybody yang willing????
cehhh...bodo lagi.
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