nothing out of the ordinary

"It will work if you try. Will you wait for me?"

found this quote in postsecret.com

sweet.

the robe, the convo and the ugly

now why don't we all go to joe's blog and see the new IIUM's robe and its mortar hat.

I was so dissapointed with this new dress code thingy when I were first told that we are going to get a new design of robe last month. the colour now is not green anymore, we will not wear the songkok and the rehearsal is off. BOOOOO!!!!!

the best thing about IIUM convo is that it is different from other universities or colleges convo. the culture is different and so its line of programmes. before this the wearing of songkok is considered as the most distinguish feature of IIUM's convocation and its graduates. we all were really proud of it and can't wait to wear one. I even ordered and tailored made my suit for the convocation. and suddenly everything changed. from the green robe to blue which I think a dissapointment to everyone to the femoval of songkok!!!Songkok!!!why the hell did yo remove the songkok for and change it to that ugly looking mortar hat? dahla name mortar?????

now we all will look like other graduates from other universities... and probably look uglier and less glamorous than them. cewhh..I dispise you..

since i am still feel kindda down now i decided not to write about all the beautiful things about my feeling about the up coming convo just yet. I want to treasure this moment of dissapointment and hatred still before I move on to that.

revelation

A lot of things happen in the past few weeks. among others I just received this one shocking news about my past which I think so hard for me to believe but nonetheless happened to me..it sucks i tell you.

you see, it was during this night when emi and I were discussing about the life we went through and all the scandals and all the shitty things that had happen to us during university's time and he after all these years finally able to pour off all this one particular thing that has been really bothered him since our days of matriculation...well, i certainly not going to tell about it simply because it involves people.I mean everybody!

the feeling that i feel right now can be simplified like this...

pernah tak tengok drama melayu pasal this one boy yang hidup die seronok sangat. i mean he got everything in his life and though many shitty things jadik kat die tapi die tetap seronok sebab atleast die happy. and suddenly bile die dah umur 24 tahun tetibe his best friend bagitau yang almost everything pasal mase lepas die sebernya tipu.you know macam tetibe tahu yang sebenarnya die anak angkat ke.macam tu la.

what i learned from emi is actually something like that tapi bukan family la.mane ader aku anak angkat.

sakit ngan dissapointed gak sebenarnye sb semua yg cantik melibatkan mase lepas aku sebenarnye ade rahsia yang sangat la besar tapi kawan takleh bagitau sebab takut melibatkan friendship tu sendiri. I mean they knew by telling me I will definitely choose the other side so dieorgpun senyap and taknak jeopardize the relationship. kire sangat mulia la bende tu and I believe sume member2 yang decide to keep their mouth shut memang mulia.bak kate emi 'tengok betape baiknye kawan2 kau'. hahaha..thanx guys...(gounggzzzs)

tapi atleast aku still susah nak percaya la mende tu jadik sebab of all the things yang jadik aku rase that was the last thing yang aku bole pikir terjadi kat aku. I mean it started from matric tuhh!!! shit. aku rase bile dah tau ni macam sume puzzle dah melekat and dari sudut cerite tu aku finally dapat faham kenape certain things jadik kat sekeliling aku. macam cerita the da vinci code.huuuuu....

eventhough cerite tu bukan pasal aku tapi atleast aku bolela kate aku terlibat secara langsung and sebab tu aku rase sangat aku sangat2 bertanggungjawab dalam sume tu.

aku sumpah aku tak pernah tau sume tu tapi aku mintak maaf2 sangatla kat sume org yang terlibat.halalkan sume yek and kalo tak halalkan please bgtau aku so aku bole atleast gantikan balik.

aku harap sume mende yang lepas tu atleast tak fake sb aku betul2 treasure all those things. aku tak kan ubahla pandangan aku tapi macamane pon die mencacatkan gakla ape aku percaya sebelumni.pheww..

azam yang pasti

teaching has been a revelation for me:)

I guess if we do something with good or noble intention, the rewards are priceless. though teaching is not my first option when it comes to career building, I took this job because somehow i believe it is my destiny to do so. I guess I am now fulfilling the dream of Abah too and for that I am so freaking proud of it.

as I write this piece, I am starting to fall in love with teaching and my students. though I think I am too egoistic a person to admit such a thing, tp what the heck kan??? Btw I never had the chance to thank those people yang bagi support kat aku mase sbelom mengajar dulu...so thank you all..you know who you are:)

I am not quite sure about this but somehow I feel that I am beginning to make peace with my inner self. everything is starting to form into one big giant of puzzle and I am actually smiling now...rase aman jugakla. nonetheless, I am still trying to perform my duty as a Muslim better. that includes all the semayang lima waktu, puasa,perangai,fikiran and all.haaaaiiiihhh..

I missed my family, friends back in Johor, UIA,my seniors, juniors, zaman2 Libur and most of all I........

laporan minggu

life is fun now that I, finally manage to move in into my own condo at Sri Gombak. The Gardenia Court of Sri Gombak is situated on top of the hill of...emmm...gombak?facing the whole view of Gombak and selayang. if you ask me, i would definately tell you that Gardenia is one heck of a cool place to live at.

Now the 'housies' according to singkong are me, nik, syed and mar'iee but since said is abroad that means three of us jek la. joe is still considering to move in and had told us hinself that meybe next month pindah here. menarikla sbb the more the merrier kan??? i'm still waiting for Sarip to come so if the plan goes well we will have 6 great people lah in the house.satu bilik 2 orang. satu bilik satu couple..ewwww..couple paling hot is nik and mar'iee.

YEay!!! bwekkkk.

me, nik, singkong and joe kuar last sunday night to watch our movie marathon.plan asal nak tengok Dark knight tapi since DK start pukul 2.30 and we arrived at about 11 so we decided to watch other movie first. I ended up watching hell boy ALONE for the first time of my freaking life since those three jerks nak tengok Red cliffs together. all in all one great new experience lah. really??? saper nak jadik gf saye and tengok movie samer2????haiiihhhh.

DK was awesome. Joker was sangat hebat! way better than Jack Nicholson punye version and the late Heath leadger, i must say letak bar yang sangat tinggi nak mampos(irony) to the future Jokers. he has truly put himself to a great route of legendary actors of hollywood dengan mematikan diri die di kemuncak lakonan. memang hebat!!!

lecturing is fun! still learning but with fun.

Awkward but I had a hell lot of fun!!

I started my dawn with a very strange feeling up my stomach. For a second I thought that life was such a comedy it plays such a wondrous sweet nightmare again and again that day...yeppp..it was monday morning when I woke up from my deep sleepless night and was about to face my day with a fact that I am now a lecturer and my utmost priority is to educate young minds.

the first week was a very hectic period of time since out of the sudden blue I was blown away with so many new things that I have to deal with as a lecturer. honestly, I never thought being a lecturer can be so tunggang langgang...or maybe that just me.kottt?

I got 12 teaching hours per week and I must say I was a little bit dissapointed since I was so much anticipated to at least earn like 16 to 20 hours a week. nonetheless I guess I am pretty much new with it, kire fairla kan???and plus mama pun cakap I should just cope with it and try to make use of my hours as a basic training ground for my future hours.

the kids were okay though some of them kadang2 agak annoying and irritating at times but what the heck right?I was just like them during my uia times aite.so I guess life's fair. plus I get to learn a thing or two about grammar and stuffs back:P

I just hope I can turn out to be as good as any other lecturers are and of course I just hope I can be as much good as my father is as a teacher.

Royal Malaysia Sarkas sudah kembali!!!

So here goes again. the great Malaysia Circus is Back!!!!


I try to stop myself from writing things on politics not because I'm ignorant nor because I don't give a crap about it. I refuse to write things on politics simply because I think there are hundreds of bloggers out there who are miles better than me in terms of writing or passing their judgement on politics. however, make no mistake about it because my perspective on it, is perhaps as critical as theirs and politics has always be the interest of my judgement. I just feel that now I don't have to blurt all things out yet for when I read other comments made by my fellow bloggers I feel that their judgement was as much as in the same brain hemisphere as I and thus make thing easier for me as to not weigh my own perspective. I guess no one wants to read the same thing twice aite??

therefore, when I started to write this, I realised that many people failed to see this whole incident the way I see it. though I am fully disagree with this latest disgrace act of allegation made to DSAI, I made a promise to myself that I will not be too emotional on this case and maybe, sometimes it makes no harm at all to pass a little judgment that not quite as 'sane' as other's. As a matter of fact, if only you see as I see, perhaps youl'll understand.

this whole sodomy what not incident has truly made Malaysia the biggest royal sarkas of all time. with DSAI, that 0.8 saifool guy, najib, pak lah and bla..bla..bla acting as the main royal clowns, it is hard for me not to view it as one great epic drama of all time (sequel to that 98 released). think about it.do you know that all of us now are atleast witnessing the making of one great twitch of film reel that will soon be the greatest history of Malaysia??this whole thing is like the making of the movie JAWS by spielberg or Star Wars by Lucas. isn't it Romantic???

in 10 to at least 900 years time, there will be millions of version of today's episode and we as the sons and daughters of today will have the first hand privilage to tell the future generation that we were here when it started..

I love watching hollywood political-thriller-drama movies such as enemy of the states, negotiator etc...because the excitement of waiting the conspiracy what not to unfold itself or often through it's hero. Usually in those hollywood movies, reality is not much obliged but rather the element of romanticism was positively hailed. therefore we see the element of heroism or machoism and that inspires us or at least make us feel the glow of our heart in wanting to give a thumb's up to the hero. if the same element of romanticism put in today's mediocrity of this great sarkas, don't you think that what we felt when watching those hollywood movies can be felt now?? can't you see how romantic this whole incident is???

Kita semua kan racist?

Manusia itu adalah satu makhluk yang racist bila ia meletakkan ketuanan bangsa melebihi ketuanan agama.

satu ayat yang agak ringkas maksudnya. memanglah racist bila letak bangsa melebihi segalanya kerana racist itukan terhasil dari ayat akarnya yang berbunyi "race" iaitu bangsa. adakah bole kita lari dari menjadi racist?aku agak pessimistic dalam hal ini. lebih 60 peratus dari pendirian aku kuat mengatakan kita takkan boleh lari dari menjadi seorang racist. kenapa? mungkin sifat favoritisme semula jadi yang ada atau mungkin senang kata sifat syak wasangka yang tak pernah padam.

tapi apapun kita sememangnya boleh bendung sifat itu jadi macam manapun ada masa kita boleh bersifat professional dengan membuat keputusan berdasarkan merit sesuatu perkara.

berhubung gerakan membangsakan rakyat Malaysia tanpa mengira latar belakang kelahiran ibu bapanya dari bangsa apa, pada pendirian aku ialah 100 peratus bersetuju. mudah sahaja kenapa. kerana telah lama Malaysia ini di tadbir mengikut olahan kerajaan kuno british yang berprinsipkan pecah dan perintah. kalau di kaji kerajaan british moden pun tidak menggunakan dasar itu lagi. jadi telah masanya dasar itu di buang. bila itu di buang mungkin satu hari nanti tidak timbul isu hunus keris dan isu Hindraf yang dengan bodohnya mengangkat potret Queen Elizebeth dan Mahatma Gandhi. atau juga takkan timbul isu mendesak kerajaan menambah bilangan sekolah rendah (J) yang ada bunyi 'hwa' atau 'qiu' di hujungnya.

aku agak pessimistic sikitlah. (senyum) bila majoriti inginkan terlahirnya bangsa Malaysia, adakah mereka maksudkan istilah ketuanan Melayu di hapuskan terus? adakah mereka maksudkan DEB di ceraikan?adakah mereka maksudkan sistem kuota di hancurkan?

perasan tak bila menyebut tentang dasar Bangsa Malaysia, selalu sangat beberapa perkara seperti di atas yang di sebutkan? bila di lihat dari satu sudut kita bertanya kenapa hanya perkara yang melibatkan kepentingan melayu yang harus di lucutkan?seperti apa yang hak bangsa melayu ini tak pernah adil. macam mana dengan kepentingan bangsa lain?

aku bersedia kalau semua kepentingan di atas di rungkaikan kerana aku yakin dengan diri aku untuk survive secara berdepan tanpa mengharap polisi bangsa. tapi bila aku tengok betapa bangsa lain yang cukup aggresif mempertahankan hak mereka aku jadi goyah dengan prinsip bangsa Malaysia itu sendiri. kalau mereka enggan melepaskan hak mereka kenapa perlu bangsa aku sukarela nak lepaskan hak bangsa aku.

sekejap...bila aku cakap mengenai ini, bukan bermaksud aku anti mereka. aku suka dengan semua bangsa yang ada dalam Malaysia as long as dieorang baik dan punya sikap terbuka. maksudnya mereka yang suka bergaul dan berbual mesra tanpa fikirkan warna kulit. kalau jahat tak kiralah kau melayu ke ape ke aku tetap benci.sebab apa?sebab kau merosakkan nama agama dan bangsa kau jugak dan buat orang lain suka buat stereotype kat bangsa kau.

mungkin ada orang kata sebab itulah semua kena berubah dan perubahan itu bermula dari aku. tapi itu tak cukup untuk menyakinkan hati nak berganjak dengan perubahan sebesar macam tu. perubahan itu seolah-olah macam satu dunia zion yang hanya fantasi. seperti satu kingdom of heaven yang terlalu subjektif.

sukarkan? aku yakin kita patut berubah. jangan terkongkong dengan isu bangsa. kita cinta bangsa kita, ya itu aku faham. tapi jangan sampai membuatkan bangsa lain merana. kita boleh jadi racist tapi jangan sampai boleh menutup kebahagiaan bangsa lain kerana seteruk mana pun bila kita perasan dalam situasi tertentu, bila kita duduk bersama dengan orang yang belainan bangsa dengan kita, kita masih boleh berbual mesra sesama sendiri. bukan ke perasaan masa berbual bersama itu indah?

Makkal Sakhti

saya jadi cikgu..haaa?aper?

I'm counting the days to begin the new chapter of my life as a lecturer...an English lecturer for International Islamic College:p

The future looks kind of vague right now simply because I don't know how and what to expect from lecturing. I used to think that teaching is something that I had in my blood since abah was a teacher for like 40 years and I used to do some small time teaching in his private institution back home but now as the days come close I found that I'm actually having a spiral chill down my belly... so many questions linger and the damnest part about it is that I can only acquire the answer on 7th of JUly 2008 which is also the day I will start teaching.

can I teach??? darn@%

It's kind of sad knowing that I will leave Restu Foundation and all the guys here soon. These guys are so cool and I'm having such a blast time working with these people now so to leave is like to earn myself a slap on the face or something. I'm trying to get Ikram's approval for me to work here as a part timer so I can continue giving all that I can for the centre. maybe this sound too silly but I think I had fall in love with Restu at hello..hohohoho..sounds familiar jek. hehehe..baru nak jadi seorang writer yang hebat dah kene tukar jadi lecturer. speaking about writing, looks like I will not be able to write my first two books at all..sedeyyyyynya.

I pray hard that the vagueness will only stay with me until 7th of July. somehow I can sense something from somewhere that's telling me, soon after, life will get better for me. I believe I made the right choice and that what I will do after this reflects the person I truly am. I am now fulfilling part of my destiny as an educator. no matter what happens in the future, I know I will do my best and give everything I have and dengan harapan bole jadi mcm abah..

I can do this:)

Abah

Abah atau Haji Mohd Sirat Bin Patmo atau Cikgu Sirat merupakan seorang yang paling cool dalam hidup aku. segala mengenai abah memang cool. bagi aku abah bukan sahaja seorang bapa kepada NoorIzhanSirat,NorAslinaSirat,FauziSirat,AzhariSirat dan DayanaSirat tapi segala-galanya yang seronok dalam hidup ni.

Abah seorang cikgu.jawatan last dia dalam kerjaya cikgu ialah gurubesar jadi secara langsungnya aku juga anak seorang guru besar. tapi aku tak pernah dapat sekolah satu dengan abah. tak tau kenapa????misteri jugak abah. Passion abah memang mendidik.tak ada yang lebih dia suka selain mendidik anak-anak. sampai abah pencen pun dia nak mengajar dan sampai sekarangpun abah mengajar lepas abah berjaya bukak sekolah dia sendiri. Abah tak garang.kan dah cakap tadi dia cool kan? tapi abah kuat membebel.hehehe.jadi dengan membebel dia berjaya buat orang yang dibebelnya mengikut arahannya. dia membebel bukan suara kuat. Abah jarang tinggikan suara.hampir sangat jarang...cuma bebelan abah sangat hebat.mungkin?

kalau nak cerita pasal abah yang ada dalam otak cuma ketawa dan tersangatlah tinggi value respect aku kat dia. abah memang kelakar. aku rasa kalau aku kelakar, kemungkinan besar datang dari dia. kelakar abah plak memang tak disangka-sangka. selalu time mama serious tetibe dia buat kelaka sampai mama tensen. aku ingat sekali aku tanya abah pasal cerita hantu kat abah. yealah, aku rasa tiap anak nak dengar cite antu abah dia kan.so akau tanya la. abah cite serious pasal hantu orang tua kat kampung dia tapi ntah macamana tetibe dia merepek terus kuar cite dia nak tangkap orang tua pakai jubah putih kat kampung dia masa malam ramadhan sebab dia dengan geng2 dia ingat orang tua tu Lailatulqadar. haiiiiihhhhla en Sirat.

ingat dulu masa aku demam panas masa kecik2 abah hantar aku ke hospital Kota tinggi naik moto suzuki sport warna merah. masa tiba kat persimpangan hospital abah berenti sebab lampu merah. aku yang bonceng kat belakang abah tanpa sengaja termuntah straight kat belakang abah. abh satu badan belakang dia kene muntah aku.hehehe aku ingat abah mase tu ternaik badan die sebab kene muntah. mase tu demam so aku cakap tak tahan jekla. dia bebel kat aku kenapa kene muntah kat badan dia.yeala moto bukan ade tingkappon. kenapela aku tak muntah kat tepi???hehehehe..kelaka betol time tu. abah sabar jek.

haji Sirat ni pun sangatla flashy orangnye.agak flamboyant jugak dan aku rase aku punye flamboyance ni pon datang dari die. abah hebat bergaya. kalau tengok gambar muda2 memang dia hebat fashion. sebijik macam Sean connery dalam James bond.kacak gilarrrr. dia ader vespa so mase tukan zaman jula juli bintang lima so aku suspect dia mungkin terlibat sama. sampai sekarang dia macam tu. even mase balik dari haji pun die nak bergaya. mase tunggu jemaah kuar dari pintu balai ketibaan satu family terkejut tengok abah and aku rase semua orang kat situ senyum tengok dia. Haji2 lain keluar nampaklah rambut botak dieorang or pakai kopiah putih tapi abah seorang jek pakai songkok tarbus warna merah.hehehehe...kelakar betol tengok dia.

Abah memang sangat penyabar.sebab tu dia cool. dalam family abah dia paling sulung and dia banyak adik. tapi aku rasa adik2 dia tak hormat dia. selalu sakitkan ati dia. abah sanggup jual rumah dia kat kampung dulu sebab nak bagi adik dia tinggal kat situ. abah jual tak mahal kat adik dia. 6 ribu jek. abah yang susah mase tu sanggup bawak mama ngan anon keluar cark rumah lain. tapi bile dah dapat adik dia buat macam lupe jek. kadang2 raya bila abah balik kampung, kuar pun tidak jemput abah datang beraya walaupun abah ade kat umah embah kat sebelah dia. selalu abah yang ajak jek datang umah dia. yang lain pun sama. kuat sangat bermusuh ngan abah. sampai tanah abah kene block sebab dia orang pakat buat rumah halang laluan masuk ke tanah abah. sebab tu abah tak pernah cakap family kiteorg ade tanah. dulu anon ngan inah kawen dieorg tak datg pon walaupun rumah kiteorg tak jauhpon. sanggup keluar jauh2 pergi tempat lain tapi tak datang rumah kiteorg. sampai anak2 diaorg kawenpun tak jemput abah. tapi abah cool jek. dia tak balaspun.aku faham abah sebab tu time raya kalau adik beradik yg lain taknak balik kampung abah ajak aku.sebab aku faham situasi abah:)

abah ada sepasang mata yang sangat hebat. anak mata abah warna kelabu and yang putih tu warna dia agak lutsinar so kalau tengok memang pujaanla. aku ngan abang selalu bincang kalu kiteorg ada mata macam tu mesti kiteorg dah jadi buaya tahap melampau. tapi malang sangat sebab takde sorangpun dalam family yang dapat mata macam tu. abah memang berlagak tamau kongsi gen mata macam dia. rugiiiiii sangat.

kalau nak certa pasal abah aku rasa memang mati keringla aku sebab banyak sangat menda yang boleh masuk. macam anak-anak yang lain, semua ada cerita yang panjannnnng pasal abah diaorang. jadi biarlah yang tulis kat sini sikit dan yang lain smpan sahaja untuk harta palng berharga.bukan begitu?

aku tak tau nak bagi apa kat abah sempena hari ayah. memang tak pernah sambutpun tapi Allah tu maha mengetahui dan penyayangkan. seminggu sebelum hari ayah aku dapat tawaran jad lecturer so aku yang selama ni mengelak untuk mengajar tanpa tau sebab apa terus pergi interview dan terus jugak dapat time tu jugak. memang pelik sebab selalu kan pihak interviewer akan ambik masa tapi tulah rezeki terus dapat. bila bagi tau abah dia cuba bersikap cool tap kantoi sebab aku tahu sangat dia happy giler. dari dulu abah nak tengok salh seorang anak dia sambung legacy mengajar dia. anon jd engineer, inah jadi Admin exec and abang jadi diver so semua tak kene dengan bidang abah. bila aku amek degree english abah dari awal cube racun aku jadi ckgu. dia tak paksa tapi nampaklah dia suke kalau aku jadi cikgu. bila aku jadi writer kat Yayasan Restu abah biase jek.dia suke jek sebab aku dah keje tapi selalu gak dia suh check diploma pendidikan. aku pon degil sket malas nak tengok so takderlah nak jadi cikgunya.hehehe..abah cool sebab tak pernah pakse. tapi Allah tukan maha mengetahui.tup-tup aku dapat jadi lecturer. yang pelik aku terime dengan enthusiastic plak tu. aku dapat rasa abah suke sangat2...

Jadi sempena hari bapa tahun ni, bila aku fikir dalam2 aku rasa mungkin aku dah ber hadiah paling abah nak sempena hari bapa ni. aku hadiah kan pada abah seorang anak dia yang bakal menyambung legacy dia sampai bebila. Abah, ini untuk abah tau. hadiah adik untuk abah:)

Goodbye Tan Sri

Semalam ketika sedang menonton Berita keluar berita yang agak mengejutkan juga. aku asalnya memang malas nak tengok berita memandangkan berita semua berpusing tentang perkara yang menyakitkan hati. balik-balik tentang harge naik, minyak naik, cubaan menteri dan politikus sampah membodohkan rakyat, bunuh....pusing-pusing hati makin sakit tekak pun loya nak muntah.

tapi berita pemecatan Tan Sri Sanusi Junid dari kerusi empuk presiden UIA nya agak memeranjatkan juga. mungkin aku rabun isu semasa.mungkin angin pemecatan dah lama berbunyi.tapi aku tak tau.aku nak kata sedih tak jugak.nak kata tersenyum tak jugak..terperanjat lah yang paling utuh perkataannya.aku rasa.

aku anak UIA yang membesar dalam era pemerintahan Tan Sri. aku ingat masa tahun 2002 aku masuk matric Uia ketika itu aku agak politikal juga.tentu jugak arah kiri. jadi bila awal2 masuk Uia ketika pertama sekali mendengar ucapan Tan Sri aku cukup menyampah kerana ucapannya berbau sampah UMNO. dengar saja dengan hati yang panas..haiii..aku ingat pada masa tu, aku lebih teruja dengan gaya isi ucapan Bro Abbas dan lama selepas itu aku jatuh cinta dengan ucapan gaya Prof Kamal Hassan. cantik dan penuh karisma...intelligent!

ketika melangkah kaki ke main campus sekali lagi dengar ucapan Tan Sri. sekali lagi aku terkejut.ucapannya dah bertukar 360 darjah.tidak berbunyi sampah.walaupun tidaklah terlalu ilmiah tapi Tan Sri masih cuba menyampaikan ucapan yang berkarismatik. aku jadi suka dengan perubahannya.bagi aku ketika itu dia seperti kembali neutral dan menggerakkan Uia seilmiah yang mungkin.

bila aku tamat pengajian tak sangka juga hayat tampuk presidennya tamat kurang setahun sesudah aku tinggalkan Uia.dulupun dia mulakan kedudukan di Uia 2 tahun sebelum aku masuk jadi hayat Tan Sri dengan hayat aku di Uia lebih kurang sama saja. tersenyum saja.

ada ramai yg suka dan ramai juga yang terperanjat atas pemecatannya. yang bersikap 'Sikkoh' agaknya sukalah kerana ramai menganggapnya sebagai pemusnah budaya islam Uia. tapi yang lebih liberal seperti aku ni terkejut sahaja kerana aku secara individu masih percaya dengan perubahan sikapnya. jadi aku tabik Tan Sri.

katanya politik yang menghalau dia dari kerusi empuknya itu. katanya lagi Pak Lah punya angkara.haiiiihhh..itulah politik ini. busuk amat. tapi untuk jadi adil dan kritis bukan ke dia naik dulu juga kerana politik??? karma kan?

sebab itu aku dari awal menentang pemecatan mahupun lantikan di bidang akedemik ni berdasarkan politik kerana orang politik ini kebanyakannya bodoh.faham tak bila aku sebut bodoh itu? bodoh bukan saja boleh dihitung dengan sijil ya.

there goes the fuel price!thank you o good government

Fucking hell man! 78 sen a hike? what the fuck is this????

I was riding my bike on my way home this late afternoon when I saw long lines of cars waiting to fill in the fuel of their cars and bikes. Since it was raining at that time I thought maybe those guys were just singgah at the petrol station to wait for the flood to reduce or something so I just buat bodo and continued pecut balik umah. nonetheless I still had this funny feeling inside about the incident that I just saw. somehow rase macam minyak naik jek. but then again smalam baru cakap minyak naik bulan ogos?

then came at home Mamat told me yg the fuel price has really been increased and repeatedly asked me to fill in mine before 12 a.m tonight. huaaaaa...naik esok gak??? what the fuck????

so sampaila skarang still feeling dumbstruck about the unexpected news ni...

I know the world oil situation right now is so tak menentu and I truly understand why the price should be increased but 78 sen???? how am I going to cater with such burden????

gaji ciput,harga beras baru naik, harge tu naik,harge ni naik..gaji kecik???now the fuel pun dah increased I guess soon all barang harian and all mestilah naik lagi...Fuck!!!!

to think I just started my monthly savings this month and I am so looking forward to buy new shirts and a pair of baju convo including a suit....tak dapatla kot macam ni. I guess for those who have the same gaji like me or lower or tinggi sikit jek dari aku, looks like we're going to spend the rest of our life working and bayar utang jekla. toksah pikir nak gi holidays ke shopping ke pakai keter best sket ke kan??? nak beli kete murahpun kene pikir 2 3 kali lepas ni...or may I can just ride my 2nd hand bike for the rest of my life....or maybe I should ask my boss to give me an increment???oooppsss..I totally forgot.I'm working with NGO and according to him (the boss) we are Dakwah based NGO, therefore our work is dakwah as well and for that janganlah mintak gaji yg tinggi. semua itu kan Daaaakwaaahhh...haiiisshhh...Ya Allah kau kuatkanlah daya aku dan usaha aku dalam meneruskan dakwah mu ini. Kau buka lah seluas2nya pintu rezeki ku ini. aku sayang kerja yang aku punya ini tapi aku juga mahu hidup sedikit senang Ya Allah.

for those Politicians out there especially UMNO@ sarKiS politicians... don't you even dare to ask us rakyat to change our life styles. don't you fucking dare ask us to makan ubi and all.. fuck you!!!

may it lasts forever

I may not be there right in front of your eyes, but I was there.close:)

Sunset Di Shah Alam

Bangun tidur kebiasaannya jam 7 pagi dan terus mandi. aku bukan seorang pemandi yang lama jadi 10 minit cukuplah + cukur manis misai dan janggut setiap dua hari. kadang-kadang bila datang mood inginkan wajah yang "rough Edge" aku biarkan sahaja wajah aku tanpa sebarang cukuran. tapi taklah terlalu lama dibiarkan. paling lama 4 hari.mungkin?

jadi bila bersiap aku terus keluar dari rumah. kadang-kadang bancuh jugak kopi secawan sebelum mulakan hari bekerja. bila macam tu terasa jugak macam "cool". Sudahlah.

sampai pejabat selalunya sebelum pukul 8.30 tapi selalu jugak lambat. tengok pada keadaan biasanya.

ada hari aku tersenyum, ada hari gembira ada hari menyampah, ada hari bosan, ada hari sibuk macam syaitan dan ada juga hari yang penuh dengan segalanya. bila hati tercuit, ada hari sangat sedih mengenangkan keluarga yang jauh dan aku yang terposok di bumi orang penuh ironi hidup.

pukul 1 rehat dan biasanya akan keluar bersama beberapa kenalan dan mulakan sesi lepak di restoran Syed di seksyen berapa entah. aku jarang makan sebab nak berdiet katanya. ketawa kecil lah. lepak sampai pukul 2 sebab pukul dua sememangnya waktu tamat rehat jadi pulang ke office sambung kerja.

balik pukul 5.30 tapi sekarang ni selalunya tidak balik jugak. biasanya tukar pakaian dan terus berlari-lari anak cuba keluarkan peluh dalam 30 minit dan sambung pula main takraw dengan kenalan pejabat. aku tak pernah pandai main takraw tapi bila hari-hari dah main, bolehlah...

kadang- kadang bosan jugak dengan rutin yang sama. pening kepala pun ada. rindu nak balik zaman sebelum mula mencari kerja. zaman Libur di UIA. tersenyum dah...tapi tidaklah bosan sangat dan tidaklah rutin sangat sebab agak seronok jugak dengan rutin kerje aku. cuma kalau datang bulan menyumpah jugak.

tapi dalam hari-hari yang aku lalu. tak kira senyum atau menyampah ada satu saja masa yang aku tersangat-sangatlah nantikan setiap hari. sebab apa? sebab apa pun mood yang serang aku hari tu, aku akan tetap senyum bila terjumpa dia..

Setiap hari lebih kurang pukul 7 bila dalam perjalanan pulang yang seakan mengambil masa dalam 15 minit itu, semua yang wujud dalam dunia ini terhenti. yang ada cuma ada aku dan sunset saling memandang sesama sendiri.

dalam 15 minit itu yang ada dalam hati cuma damai. yang ada dalam diri cuma diri sendiri. yang ada dalam akal fikiran cuma cantiknya ciptaan Tuhan yang ini.

Sunset di Shah Alam:)

saya seorang copywriter/writer for Restu Foundation

Had a very hectic day today since school holidays had just begun smalam. so, there were like 3 to 4 lawatan from all different groups of people coming and going today. and since i am the officer in charge of the tour and i am also the part time semi professional photographer of Restu foundation, I had to take pictures of those who came to visit us before taking them on tour, then had to run to my office to settle on things that needs to be settled and turun bawah balik to take pictures of another group blablablabla.... so i think you can imagine how hectic my day was aite?hohoho. anyways, i met with Mdm Zima, Mdm Adlina and Sir Abdurrahman of Uia Matric today. they were having a program at the center so it was very seronok to see them after such a long period of time.

to put icing on the cake I just received 4 to 5 translation tasks today with a very tight dateline...hari dateline 6.6.08.hahaha number nerake la plak. what a tiringggggg job kan? one for Brunei exhibition, 1 for the coming international conference, 1 for the Japanese delegations, 1 for Mushaf Nur Fatimah and 2 for calligraphy and Zukhruf books.

but no matter ep because all those tiring works akhirnye ter paid off because today I just received my conformation job letter.hahahahhaaha.....yay to Restu Foundation!

after just 3 months of working at the organization they finally made the decision that I am truly worthy of working and be part of their big family. kudos to me as well, I guess.

hopefully I can do better for the center in the future insyaallah. Restu surely has a very bright future and hopefully I can grow my potential with it. my promise? I wont let RESTU down and i am surely wont let me down.

special thank to Mr Duraid for all the guidance he has showed me in a very short space of time and of course for hiring me.

boys will always be boys

There is a certain way for you girls to notice whether your man truly loves you or not. I'm not sure whether this is true but I always believe in this theory.

here goes,

there is a certain way a man stares at the woman he loves. I do not know whether you have ever witnessed the look of a boy on his first birthday or at least on his long awaited birthday. I have looked at it once so I know that the theory might be true...

so, if you have seen it before you will probably understand this as I but if you haven't, maybe you should try again someday.

you see, the look of that boy is exactly the same with the look of a man who truly falls in love with his girl. a man looks like a boy on his birthday. he treats the woman as if she were a gift he has waited for so long to open and now he can't wait to see the treasure inside. the way he gaze at his love is similar with the way the boy gaze at his birthday present. you can see the ultimate perfect innocent of the boy's eyes inside your man's eyes. if he ever touches you, it would be like the boy's motion of unwrapping his birthday present. no matter be it rough or smooth, you can only sense the honesty and the innocence of him.

I guess that is why men cannot ever loose his sense of childish because no matter how hard he tries to lose it, the side of it will always be there ready to come out of him.

Romeo and Juliet

now listening: Romeo and Juliet by Dire straits

another classic song that I fell in love with listening to it. was first recorded and produced in 80's by Dire Straits and just recently covered by the Killers. the reason why I love it so much is that I find the lyrics very powerful and yet so smooth and honest.

I dream of having the chance to write a poem as powerful and honest as the lyrics of this song one day:)

in many holywood movies, we often came across with one defining scene that truly captured our heart and summed up all the wishes that we wished had happened to us. that we hopelessly wish that how great it would be if it happens to us. I felt the same first time when I listened to this song....so the very the honest..melting dah.hehehe

Justice will eventually binds us together

Bila menatap kaca televisyen atau membaca biji-biji perkataan yang di tuliskan di atas kertas surat khabar arus perdana, kita di Malaysia ini seakan-akan seperti di halusi dengan bom-bom nuclear tentang isu KETUANAN MELAYU yang katanya semakin terhakis akibat kononnya perpecahan Orang Melayu.

Disana sini kita di kabarkan tentang Orang Melayu yang semakin hancur hak-haknya dan komplikasi yang mungkin datang akibat perpecahan tersebut. Di sana sini juga kita didengarkan tentang tokoh-tokoh tertentu yang menjerit terlolong-lolong tentang betapa pentingnya kita terus bersatu.

Secara jujurnya aku hanya nampak semua itu sampah belaka. Hanya polemic politik murahan tajaan parti UMNO yang terdesak akibat perpecahan mereka sendiri. Malas nak cerita tentang politik. Kenapa malas sedangkan selama ini aku pengikut setia politik? Kerana seperti yang aku kata. Semua itu sampah belaka. Kalau benar UMNO penjaga hak Melayu hidup mati, bukankah telah 50 tahun dia di pertanggungjawbkan untuk menjaga kita semua? Jadi selama 50 tahun kalau hak kita terhakis semua itu salah siapa? Aku tak ingat pula ada pernah DAP memerintah negara. 50 tahun ni kalau di singkap tentang sejarah, tak tertulis aku tentang keistimewaan Melayu yang telah terhakis akibat salah laku atau cuai UMNO sendiri. Yang kaya mereka dan kroni mereka. Yang miskin tetap kita. Pernah dengar tentang ungkapan “nak kaya join politik masuk UMNO carik cable besar” atau “ kau kalau nak kerje kerajaan mesti kene ada kabel besar”.

Tapi macam aku cakap, aku taknak sentuh isu politik dan semua Ketuanan Melayu ini kerana aku rasa sudah masanya kita bersikap matang. Jangan pandang sesuatu itu mengikut acuan sempit.

Aku baru melawat laman blog MAHAGURU58.blogspot.com. ada paparan tentang diskriminasi terhadap Muslim di Amerika dan bagaimana mereka yang bukan Islam mempertahankan seorang wanita muslim dari diskriminasi tersebut. Mereka tidak kenal satu sama lain tetapi atas dasar cintakan sesame makhluk tuhan, yang batil di tentang bersama.

Nak menitis air mata bila melihat video tersebut. Di tengah-tengah dunia yang kini hanya kenal erti musuh dan darah, ada lagi yang mengenal erti kemanusiaan dan hormat menghormati. Tengoklah sendiri dan lihat betapa besarnya dunia ini kalau kita semua kenal erti apa itu hormat.

Amerika yang kita kenal sebagai tempat segala kerosakan ataupun kekejamannya terhadap Islam masih lagi mampu melahirkan insan yang menghormati sesama Insan. Kiranya mudah bagi kita, apa salahnya kita juga begitu. Pedulikan tentang soal Ketuanan Melayu buat sementara waktu kerana kalaulah kita faham konsep hormat menghormati, kan soal ketuanan itu semua boleh diselesaikan. Maksudnya mereka yang bukan Melayu mahupun Melayu saling menghormati hak masing-masing, tiada satupun Ketuanan yang akan tercalar, tercabar mahupun terhilang.

Pada sesiapa yang membaca tentang ini, lawatlah MAHAGURU58.blogspot.com. tolonglah bace dan ambiklah pedoman!

tanya sama diri

sememangnya boleh saja aku hamparkan segala benci yang ada dalam hati. aku ada hak dan mengikut beberapa teman rapat hak aku itu sepatutnya di gunakan saja. tapi rasanya itu mungkin bukan aku. aku yang tidak bertopengkan apa-apa bukannya begitu. mak abah tak ajar cara membenci orang.

tapi bila terbuka hati untuk melawat keadaannya secara lahiriah kerana apa yang boleh dilawati hanya yang berunsurkan tulisan, hati kerap sangat menjerit untuk membenci atau memaki hamunnya. sekejap sahajalah kerana itu cuma nafsu atau syaitan punya angkara. tapi kadang- kadang punya rasa muak jugak dengan diri sendiri sebab punya option yang membolehkan aku lari tapi selalu sahaja terjerumus dalam ketidak gunaan option tersebut. ketawa kecil sahaja.

itu apa yang aku rasa. berbalik pada alam realiti seharian aku di bumi orang, keadaannya masih biasa-biasa sahaja. masih bersusah payah untuk hanya menghabiskan satu buku penulisan Gabriel Garcia Marquez berjudul One Hundred Years of Solitude. cantik penulisannya tapi kemalasan yang membebankan pembacaan aku. ketawa kecil lagi.

mulai bulan ini bila keluar sahaja upah kerja sebulan, aku mahu merampas sebahagian dari upah itu dan disimpan sahaja di tabungan lain. itu janji aku untuk mula menabung dan melabur demi masa depan yang lebih baik. sebahagian sahaja sebab aku masih perlu membayar segala hutang sewa rumah,motor dan diberikan kepada mama abah. sebahagian lagi untuk makan alas perut diri sendiri dan sebahagian lagi tentulah untuk perbelanjaan seharian seperti rokok.

rokok?ya... tekak dan dada macam sedang berusaha merobek jantung keluar. terbatuk-batuk dari malam semalam. mungkin sebab tabiat merokok dan mungkin kerana kuat minum ais. mana satu?entahlah. kalau ditanya pada ingatan, tentu ingatan sendiri cakap "hey, kau taklah kuat sangat merokok?"... mungkin batuk disebabkan kombo-kombo yang berpadu tenaga sepaerti merokok, minum ais dan tak pakai baju dalam rumah. jadi sebab itu lah jadi batuk. nak tanya Anis tentang teori tersebut... tapi kalau tanya pada seorang bakal doktor tentang masalah dada yang melibatkan rokok tentu dia marah..peduliklah.

mungkin perlu megurangkan lagi tabiat semua itu..merokok? ahh..sudahlah.

believe

When we human found something that we love dearly and believe in it, we will usually hold it to the highest degree. We live and die for it and wholeheartedly keep it close within our heart so that it can never go away. During this phase of our life, the thing that we called animal instinct plays a pivotal role in making sure that our love stays as it is.

But we human are created with all the flaws of life. We are not perfect in so many ways and so often we find ourselves to be a careless and forgetful soul. We took things way too easy and foolishly let our guards down. Time and time again we came across stories of someone who lost his or her love and suffered because of it. Maybe in between those stories some of us found out that they are actually part of the stories.

Love is subjective but repeatedly we only managed to understand the true meaning of love once we lost it. In other words we only understand or feel the real meaning of love when everything seems too late to notice. Hence, that is why we can see millions of hearts get broken everyday because of it. Simply because of those flaws.

Escapism is a familiar term human embrace in time of sufferings. We keen to put all the blames to someone or something rather than to put the burden onto our own shoulders. It is hard to find a living person who is willing to accept those burdens and let go of all the pathetic blaming game.

So in this matter, possibly what actually defines a great living soul is not something that he or she achieves in the future but rather how they achieve it. When we lose the love of our life, perhaps it is better to keep the love intact within our heart and not to throw it away wastefully. I say honour it! Honour the love and keep on believing it with the way we live our life afterwards. It doesn’t matter whether we lose it or not, what matter the most is that we know deep in our heart that we are capable of loving something wholeheartedly and it proves that we are indeed a human being. If God wills it, perhaps one day we can stop for a second and look back and smile as how those silly things have actually make us stronger and who knows that maybe we can even laugh when we finally realize that the love that we once thought we had lost it, is still with us and we are still believe. The proof that the love exists before and still is.

Life is not as simple as we thought it is. Many things flow not according to our plan whether we like it or not. That is why we have the terms such as Qada’ and Qadar, Tawakkal, destiny and all. It is simply a fact of life that God has laid upon us. It may have many reasons behind its creation but to us, whom have so little share of knowledge of life, it is suffice to know that those that were not went accordingly to our plan are just part of the test to determine the level of our maturity.

Therefore for those who lost someone or something dearly in his or her life be it lover, wife, husband, parents or pet, I would like to offer my condolences to you. I wish you all the love I could muster within me and I would like to say that please keep on believing it. Keep the feeling inside is like a treasure and so, honour it with dignity and respect. Honour it by living your life to its fullest.